One and only: Does it work?

By Fran Arman

Is there any hope for monogamy in a generation of swinging singles and so-called free love?

"Almost everyone wants a close, one-to-one relationship. People need and desire longterm relationships," says Steve Berman, who with his wife, Vivien Weiss, wrote "Relationships" (266 pages, Hawthorn books Inc., $8.95).

Their book is a collection of candid interviews with people about their heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual relationships. It examines starting and ending relationships, and enjoying, suffering and trying to work out the rough spots. The authors let the interviews stand without their commentary.

"The interviews are clear enough that people can draw their own conclusions," believes Ms. Weiss, a therapist, who was in town yesterday with her husband to promote the book. "In a sense, it is a resource book. People have a tendency to believe an author's conclusions about something without looking further. We wanted people to make their own decisions.'

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that a relationship's best friend is honest communication. Berman, a free-lance writer, suggests having an affair with your spouse, thus putting energy back into the relationship instead of taking it away.

"People should go into a room and cut the phone lines and be in there without distractions," he says.

In their own relationship, the couple makes sure they find room for the special things in their life, rather than being overcome by routine. They celebrate the day they met, för example, by going back to the same place, wearing the same clothes and reenacting what they said to each other.

During the course of interviewing for the book, Berman and Ms. Weiss had a change in their own relationship: After living together for two years they decided to get married.

At the ceremony 1% years ago, the two movie buffs showed an old-fashioned love story called "It's a Wonderful Life.”

They both believe in monogamy in their marriage. Says Berman: "When you put so much time into a relationship..."

you don't want to wreck-

That same lack of initiative for delving further can also it," says Ms. Weiss.

plague and eventually destroy a relationship. Instead of trying to work out a stale relationship with a spouse, the authors found many persons opt for the easy way out by turning to a career or to an affair.

Consequently, the two believe

The Plain Dealer/Mitchael J. Zarembo

Authors Steve Berman and Vivien Weiss